The 5×5 Method™ is a simple relationship-building practice I created to help people stay intentionally connected to the relationships that matter most. The idea is straightforward: reach out to five people a day, five days a week, with no pitch, no ask, and no hidden agenda.
The goal is simply to let someone know, I thought of you. I remembered. You matter.
Those small moments can absolutely create opportunities in business. I’ve seen it happen throughout my career. But opportunity is not where we begin. The relationship comes first.
That is the heart of the 5×5 Method™: build the relationship before you need it.
What is the 5×5 Method™?
The 5×5 Method™ is a daily relationship-building system designed to turn good intentions into consistent human connection.
Each day, choose five people you genuinely want to stay connected to and reach out personally. Do that five days a week. The message does not need to be long or complicated. It simply needs to be genuine.
Over the course of a year, that rhythm creates the opportunity for as many as 1,300 intentional moments of connection.
Those are not 1,300 sales pitches or 1,300 attempts to generate business. They are 1,300 opportunities to make another human being feel seen, remembered, valued, and known.
That distinction matters because relationships are rarely strengthened through one grand gesture. They are built through small moments of consistent attention over time.
Why did I create the 5×5 Method™?
I created the 5×5 Method™ because I kept noticing the same problem in my own life and in the lives of incredibly relationship-driven people. We cared deeply about our relationships, but caring about someone did not automatically mean we were staying connected to them.
Life gets busy. Meetings fill the calendar. Emails pile up. Clients need attention. Families need attention. You think about someone and tell yourself, I need to call her, but then the day moves on.
A week becomes a month. A month becomes six months. Eventually, you see that person at a conference or event and say something we have all said before: “We really need to catch up.”
The relationship did not drift because you stopped caring. It drifted because there was no consistent practice keeping it alive.
That realization changed the way I thought about relationship-building. If relationships were truly as important to my business and my life as I said they were, I could not leave them entirely to good intentions.
Intentional relationships need an intentional system.
That system became the 5×5 Method™.
How does the 5×5 Method™ work in everyday life?
The 5×5 Method™ works because the outreach is small, personal, genuine, and repeatable.
Some days you might send a quick text because something reminded you of someone. Another day, you might send a voice message, congratulate someone on a recent win, check in after a big presentation, share an article you know they would appreciate, or simply say, “I was thinking about you today. How are you?”
The format is not what makes the 5×5 Method™ effective. The intention does.
People can tell the difference between a message designed to begin a sales sequence and a message sent because another human being genuinely thought about them.
That distinction matters even more now.
AI can help us communicate faster. It can help us organize information, remember details, draft messages, and manage more relationships than ever before. What it cannot do is care on our behalf.
Human connection is still human.
And in a world where more communication can be automated, genuine attention becomes even more valuable. I believe that makes human connection one of the most important competitive advantages a business can develop.
Is the 5×5 Method™ a networking strategy?
No. Not in the traditional sense.
Networking often begins with a question such as, Who should I meet? or Who could help me grow my business?
The 5×5 Method™ begins somewhere different: Who matters to me, and how am I intentionally investing in that relationship?
| Transactional Networking | The 5×5 Method™ |
| Starts with what you need | Starts with who matters |
| Focuses on contacts | Focuses on relationships |
| Often increases activity | Creates intentional connection |
| Reaches out around an opportunity | Builds the relationship before the opportunity |
| Measures immediate response | Builds relationship equity over time |
| Often includes an ask | Has no ask or hidden agenda |
There is nothing wrong with wanting business to come from your relationships. I built a seven-figure business without relying on paid advertising because relationships have been at the center of how I have worked for more than 23 years.
Relationships absolutely create opportunity.
But there is an important difference between building a relationship that may eventually lead to business and building a relationship because you want business from that person.
People feel the difference.
Why does such a simple relationship habit work?
The 5×5 Method™ works because relationships compound.
One thoughtful message probably will not transform a relationship. Neither will one lunch, one phone call, one conference conversation, or one handwritten note. Relationships are rarely built through a single interaction.
They are built through repeated moments of attention, care, consistency, and follow-through.
I think of those moments as deposits into relationship equity.
Every time you remember something that matters to someone, check in without needing anything, celebrate their success, follow through on a promise, or show up when it counts, you add something to the relationship.
Over time, those moments help create trust.
And trust has very real business value.
Trust influences who gets the call when someone needs help. It influences who gets referred, who gets another conversation, who gets the benefit of the doubt, and whose name comes to mind when an opportunity appears.
That is why I have never considered relationships a soft skill.
Relationships are a business asset.
And like any important business asset, they deserve intentional investment.
How does the 5×5 Method™ help you stay top of mind with clients?
The 5×5 Method™ helps you stay top of mind because it keeps the relationship alive between transactions.
Being top of mind does not mean constantly reminding people what you sell. In fact, when every interaction becomes an opportunity to talk about your business, people begin to feel like they are being managed rather than valued.
True top-of-mind awareness happens when the relationship itself is memorable.
A former client may think of you when a colleague needs help. A referral partner may mention your name during a conversation you never knew was happening. Someone you encouraged six months ago may remember you when a completely unexpected opportunity appears.
I have watched this happen throughout my career.
The challenge is that you cannot always trace a straight line between one thoughtful message and one dollar of revenue. That makes relationships easy for businesses to underestimate.
But just because the return is not always immediate does not mean it is not real.
Some of the most valuable business outcomes begin long before anyone realizes there is an opportunity on the table.
Who should be on your 5×5 list?
Your 5×5 list should include people you genuinely care about maintaining a relationship with, both professionally and personally.
That might mean a current client one day and a former client the next. It could be a colleague, referral partner, mentor, team member, industry peer, friend, or family member. It might also be someone you have not spoken to in far too long but who keeps crossing your mind.
That last category is important because the 5×5 Method™ was never designed to turn every relationship in your life into a business opportunity.
Some of the most meaningful people you reach out to may never send you a referral, introduce you to a prospect, or contribute a dollar to your business.
That is completely okay.
Human connection is bigger than a pipeline.
And in my experience, when we stop treating every relationship like a potential transaction, our professional relationships become stronger too.
Can leaders and sales teams use the 5×5 Method™?
Absolutely. I built my entire sales business using this method.
For leaders, the 5×5 Method™ can create a habit of building trust before the difficult conversation, organizational change, performance review, or moment of crisis.
For sales professionals, it creates a way to remain connected before there is an active opportunity or deal on the table.
For teams, it encourages people to see each other as human beings rather than simply coworkers with responsibilities and deadlines.
And for client-facing organizations, it creates a reason to stay connected after the agreement is signed instead of waiting until renewal time to suddenly become interested again.
This is where Relational Intelligence becomes practical.
Knowing relationships matter is one thing. Creating behaviors that consistently strengthen those relationships is another.
The 5×5 Method™ closes that gap by turning relationship-building from something you believe in into something you regularly practice.
What should you say in a 5×5 message?
A good 5×5 message should sound like you, feel specific to the other person, and require nothing in return.
You might mention that something reminded you of them, congratulate them on an accomplishment, ask about a trip they mentioned, check in after an important event, share something connected to a past conversation, or simply let them know they crossed your mind.
You do not need perfect words.
What matters far more is genuine attention.
A short message that shows you remembered one specific detail about someone will often mean more than a beautifully written paragraph that could have been sent to anyone.
Specificity makes people feel seen.
And feeling seen is one of the foundations of trust.
What is the biggest mistake people make with the 5×5 Method™?
The biggest mistake is turning the 5×5 Method™ into another task to complete instead of remembering that there is a real person on the other side of the message.
If you send the exact same note to five people just so you can say you finished your outreach for the day, you have missed the point.
The same is true if every friendly check-in eventually becomes a pitch, or if the only people you contact are the ones you believe can do something for you.
The method creates consistency, but you create the connection.
That is an important distinction.
The 5×5 Method™ should make your relationships more human, not more automated.
How do you start the 5×5 Method™?
Start with the people who have already been on your mind.
Chances are, you know who they are.
It might be the client you have not checked on since the project ended, the former colleague whose promotion you recently saw, the mentor you keep meaning to thank, or the friend whose name keeps popping into your head.
Choose five people and reach out.
Do not overthink the message. Do not wait until you have something brilliant to say, and do not attach an ask simply because you feel like the conversation needs a business purpose.
Just connect.
Relationships rarely disappear in one dramatic moment. More often, they slowly drift because nobody intended for them to stay close.
The 5×5 Method™ gives you a simple way to interrupt that drift and stay intentionally connected to the people who matter.
Five people. Five messages. Five days a week.
Small moments of connection, repeated consistently, can create something incredibly valuable over time.
Build the Relationship Before You Need It
I have spent more than 23 years building businesses, serving clients, leading people, and watching opportunities move through relationships.
The lesson I continue to come back to is simple: the best time to build a relationship is before you need it.
When we consistently invest in people without making every interaction transactional, we build something far more valuable than a large contact list. We build trust, relationship equity, and a community of people who know that the relationship matters beyond the immediate opportunity.
That is where the real advantage begins.
If your organization is ready to turn human connection into a practical strategy for stronger trust, sales, retention, referrals, and growth, bring The Relationship Advantage to your next event.
What is the 5×5 Method™?
The 5×5 Method™ is a relationship-building practice created by Barb Betts. It involves intentionally reaching out to five people a day, five days a week, with a genuine message and without an ask or hidden agenda.
How many people do you contact using the 5×5 Method™?
You intentionally reach out to five people each weekday. When practiced consistently throughout the year, the method creates the opportunity for as many as 1,300 intentional moments of connection.
Is the 5×5 Method™ for sales?
The 5×5 Method™ can be especially useful for sales professionals, but it is not a sales tactic. It can be used to strengthen relationships with clients, colleagues, referral partners, team members, friends, family members, mentors, and anyone else whose relationship genuinely matters to you.
What should I send as a 5×5 message?
A 5×5 message can be a text, voice memo, LinkedIn message, handwritten note, congratulations, helpful resource, or simple check-in. The format matters less than the intention behind it. The message should feel personal, genuine, and free from an expectation that the other person do something for you.
How does the 5×5 Method™ help generate referrals?
The 5×5 Method™ helps strengthen trust and relationship equity over time. When people consistently feel remembered, valued, and connected to you, they are more likely to naturally remember your name when relevant conversations, introductions, and referral opportunities arise.
Is the 5×5 Method™ networking?
The 5×5 Method™ is different from traditional networking because the focus is not on growing a list of contacts or identifying people who may be useful professionally. It focuses on intentionally investing in genuine relationships before there is a need, transaction, or opportunity.
Who created the 5×5 Method™?
The 5×5 Method™ was created by Barb Betts, keynote speaker, relationship strategist, author of The Relationship Advantage, and an expert in relationship-driven business growth.
