I had lunch last week with someone I love dearly. She started as a client, and somewhere along the way became one of those people I can be completely real with. A true business bestie. She’s at the top of her industry, the kind of person who is both wildly successful and deeply grounded.
And as we were catching up, the conversation took a turn I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
We started talking about how it feels like we’re all kind of… gaming the system right now. Using AI to write emails, clean up messages, say things “better.” Everything sounds polished. Everything sounds right. It’s efficient. It’s impressive. It checks all the boxes.
And yet, something feels off.
You can feel it in the conversations that don’t quite land. In the emails that say all the right things but somehow don’t create any real connection. In the follow-ups that sound perfect, but don’t move anything forward.
Then she told me something that stopped me in my tracks.
Before she signs a new client, she tells them this:
“When you email me or message me, don’t use AI. Say it messy. Say it frustrated. Tell me if you’re upset, or in a hurry, or boarding a plane. Tell me if you’re excited and thinking out loud. Just be real with me.”
And her reason was simple. That’s the only way she can truly serve them on the deepest level.
I sat there thinking… yes. That’s exactly it.
We’ve gotten so used to polishing our emails and communication that we’re starting to lose the very thing that creates connection in the first place. The emotion behind what we’re saying. The context. The humanity.
The little cues that tell someone what’s actually going on behind the words.
Because when everything is filtered and cleaned up, it might sound good, but it doesn’t always feel true. And people can feel that difference, even if they can’t quite name it. There’s a gap between what’s being said and what’s being felt.
And in business, that gap matters.
I want to be clear, I’m not anti-AI. I use it. It helps me think, organize, and move faster in my business. It can be an incredible tool when used the right way.
But I don’t use it to replace my voice. And I don’t use it in the moments that actually matter, the ones where I’m connecting with another person, building trust, or trying to understand what someone really needs.
Because no tool can replicate what happens when someone feels you.
Your tone. Your energy. Your honesty. The way you say something when you’re excited, or frustrated, or trying to figure it out in real time.
That’s what builds trust.
That’s what makes someone feel seen, understood, and supported.
And that’s what creates relationships that actually last.
So maybe this is just something to think about today.
The next time you go to send an email or reach out to someone who matters, pause for a second. Not to make it sound better. Not to make it sound more polished.
But to make sure it sounds like you.
Ask yourself if you’re about to send something that sounds polished, or something that actually sounds like you.
Those are not always the same thing.
And one of them builds relationships that last.
I’m choosing real, every time.
Barb 🩷
P.S. This is a big part of what I write about in my new book, The Relationship Advantage, coming May 12.
How we stay human in a world that keeps trying to automate us is going to matter more than ever.