Some of the best relationships in my life came from people others didn’t understand…
People who were judged too quickly. Misread. Written off before they ever had a fair shot. Labeled based on someone else’s experience, not their own.
And honestly? It’s made me pay attention to how often we all do this, in life and in business.
Someone shares their opinion about a person. Maybe it’s a colleague, a potential client, a new contact at an event. And without even realizing it, we quietly decide who that person is before we’ve ever had our own conversation with them.
We inherit opinions we never earned. We let someone else’s lens become our filter. And we close a door we never actually opened.
And the tricky part? It feels efficient. It feels like we’re saving time. Like we’re being smart, protecting our energy, making informed decisions.
But most of the time, we’re not being discerning. We’re being disconnected.
Because here’s the thing: relationships don’t work secondhand.
Relationships are personal.
They’re built one conversation, one interaction, one moment of real connection at a time. Just because someone wasn’t the right fit for another person doesn’t mean they won’t be one of the most valuable people in your life.
And the opposite is true, too. Just because someone is loved by everyone else doesn’t automatically mean they’ll be the right fit for you. Relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all. They’re built in the nuance, in the chemistry, in the moments you actually share with someone.
I’ve seen this play out more times than I can count. Someone others found “too direct” turned out to be the most honest person in the room. Someone labeled “hard to work with” became one of my most trusted collaborators. Someone who was “quiet” just needed someone willing to actually listen.
And in each of those moments, the relationship only existed because I was willing to experience it for myself.
Every single time, I’m grateful I chose my own experience over someone else’s opinion.
This isn’t about ignoring wisdom.
Discernment matters. Boundaries matter. Patterns matter. I’m not suggesting you throw all of that out.
But there’s a real difference between being wise and being closed.
Being wise means you pay attention to what’s in front of you. You ask questions. You stay curious. You allow people to show you who they are over time.
Being closed means you’ve already made up your mind before you walked in the room.
One protects you. The other costs you.
And what it often costs you is connection.
Opportunities. Collaboration. Perspective. Growth.
Sometimes even the exact relationship you needed.
People are nuanced.
Some of the most valuable people in your world may not come perfectly packaged. They might be different, guarded, bold, misunderstood, or simply unlike anyone you’ve connected with before. They might challenge you. They might stretch you. They might not feel instantly easy.
That doesn’t make them wrong.
That makes them worth knowing.
Give yourself permission to form your own opinions. Create your own experiences. Trust what you observe firsthand, not just what you heard from someone else.
Let people surprise you.
Let conversations unfold without a predetermined ending.
Let connection be something you build, not something you assume.
Because you might be one conversation away from an incredible friendship, partnership, client, or opportunity. But you’ll never get there if you’re filtering everyone through borrowed opinions.
The relationship that changes everything might be the one other people didn’t see coming.
Stay open. Stay wise. Stay curious.
But don’t let someone else’s story write the ending to yours.
Rooting for your relationships always,
Barb 🩷